A Lot Ado About Sex With Lesbians | Autostraddle

It’s been a huge week for homosexual-related very first person narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual magazines!

Our first portion concerns us via xojane, the ladies’s website headed upwards by Jane Pratt (my hero)

(I’m major) of

Sassy

and

Jane.

Entitled ”
I’m a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this part is part of the “it just happened to Me” element which also existed at JANE mag and is made up largely of writer/reader-submitted records of subjectively interesting personal encounters.

The anonymous composer of this portion, exactly who I’ll contact “Ariel,” is obviously bisexual, but because she conveniently supplies blow jobs to the woman male associates but does not time or usually decrease on females, she’s, she explains, theoretically, merely a ”

Lesbian

Pillow Princess.” (She additionally means herself as “mostly right” and “straight” at some other things when you look at the narrative.) Her reputation began, she describes, whenever the woman first lesbians hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke named Kelly at the woman college — took place on her for one hour. She la-la-la-loved it right after which right away fled the world fearing her very own incapacity to execute this type of great cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a prolonged time frame.

She writes:

“naturally, phrase got around that she and I had connected and that I would kept the girl dangling, which in fact had the unusual effectation of providing me folk-heroine condition. Kelly called myself a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I became one. It actually was like some kind of film conceit where champion is actually seen erroneously as a hollywood and extends to drive in a limo and remain in an elegant lodge caused by it.”

This apparently completely worked out in her benefit, as she romped about in college connecting with lots of “aggressive types whom had gotten off from the idea that I found myself reluctant to try to let a woman touch me.” Post-college, she managed to move on to your net, where she marketed the girl comfortable standing and often found with ladies for NSA sex.

Nearby the conclusion she problematically describes that when connecting with a female she actually is not interested in, she just closes her vision and envisions someone else “while [the lesbian] does the woman thing.” Often it appears like she wants ladies to consume the woman out because they truly are allegedly much better at it than men are. She

could

go-down to them but “I am not online dating them, and that I don’t believe I would desire my fetish corrupted by caring for somebody enough to surrender.”

I wouldnot want to stay alongside Ariel on an airplane, but her one-sided sexual encounters are consensual and she’s simply advising a genuine tale of her existence, so I’m not necessarily yes what things to model of this (and I also’m interested to understand what you make of it, if any such thing).

Then, on Jezebel (via
The Great Guys Project
) there is
We Married a Lesbian (And I’m a Guy)
. Mcdougal, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended to get crushes for a passing fancy brand of woman: the celebrity basketball user, the soccer forward, the swimmer. Some had been lesbians. Some just weren’t.” He questioned:

What-is-it that drew myself so frequently to ladies who were same-sex lured? It surely wasn’t the stereotypical male dream by what they were performing during sex, plus it definitely had nothing to do with a macho notion that I could change a gay lady straight.

In areas, the part (which really does tred on some stereotypical surface) reminded me for this estimate from

Girls Across The Street

,
that we quoted in a write-up about feminine masculinity
:

“…if we’d to produce one other generalization about lesbian style, it would be that many us tend to be powerfully interested in women, homosexual or directly, breathtaking or otherwise not, just who look just as if they are able to manage by themselves.”

Mcdougal at some point marries a lesbian exactly who introduced as direct, and he discovered their ensuing love life are unsatisfactory. She refused to offer him blow jobs and don’t love entrance but joyfully approved their offerings of cunnilingus. Whenever their unique sexless matrimony finished in divorce and a drug relapse (for him), he’s apparently thoughtful to their ex-wife’s strive versus marking the woman as deceptive (as numerous associated with the commenters do):

She had come from a traditional family who does currently deeply embarrassed to have a homosexual youngster. She may have identified, but did their better to hide it, possibly hoping that her feelings might transform. Or she might-have-been like lots of females i have recognized, and only found her correct sexual identity after already becoming hitched to men.

What’s redeeming about this article if you ask me that the author’s conception of his own sex is generally without the traditional masculine posturing one might expect in an item along these lines (the guy even describes himself as “femmy”). Maybe it really seems that means because men very seldom write on wishing powerful, sports, effective ladies with short hair; but it is refreshing nonetheless.

Really don’t mistake Hugo or Ariel for advising their unique stories, but it is worth mentioning that both narratives apparently drive regarding the concept that room behavior is the ultimate/only litmus examination of sexuality. Hugo and Courtney enjoy one another’s organization, but Hugo cites Courtney’s disinterest in penetration as a “warning sign” he missed, when entrance is actually scarcely an entirely heterosexual work (this indicates more likely Courtney dreaded the intimacy of penetration with men she failed to truly want is with, but really who knows) and dropping crazy, ultimately, is all about the vagina but it is additionally concerning your cardiovascular system and it’s mostly about having enchanting thoughts. Those romantic emotions are just what turns a hook-up union into a relationship, all things considered.

Ultimately at

nerve.com

there is a sweet story right from horse’s mouth —
My Personal First Time: Female. 17. San Francisco Bay Area
. I think this is the first time the “very first time” series has showcased a lesbian.

Essentially, in ninth class, mcdougal confessed to her best friend that she had lesbian thoughts on her, along with her best friend reciprocated, and they proceeded to carry on a covert lesbian connection plus they are however with each other today and she is a grown-up inside armed forces!

It seems they have yet to simply take their unique commitment outside of the closet, basically some puzzling, but whatever

. [

ETA

: ends up this tale had been authored before DADT ended up being repealed, though it just got released, for that reason you’ll find nothing puzzling going on here. This is simply straight-up nice in most method, unequivocally.]

The main focus with the piece (basically extremely precious and nice) is on the author’s advancement of
just what lesbian intercourse IS
:

We’d never ever come down on every various other, and I also ended up being sure that’s what we might meant whenever we mentioned we wished to have sexual intercourse. (today we realize that there is even more to fucking than slurping a female’s vagina and contacting it every day.)

She concludes:

I am aware that many men and women disagree regarding what virginity way to a homosexual girl, but virginity is entirely personal, and it actually is based on who you’re asking. Some people might say penetration must be included, but i believe its up to the person dropping his/her virginity. Basically feel I lost my virginity, subsequently goddammit, You will find!

I have spent almost all of the morning and mid-day watching wordpress, racking your brains on what point i possibly could create about some of these pieces. I was thinking a whole lot about the reason we’d never publish “I found myself a Lesbian Pillow Princess” on this subject internet site but cannot get past the explanation that I’d worry 50 of you would vow to never come back here while the remaning many-thousands of you would battle together about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure through to the heat death of the world. I envisioned someone publishing “I Was a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to united states via mail following I envisioned the editorial meeting where we might can that story and all state “NO” on top of that.

In on the lookout for a place to gleam from the stories, i have tried to figure out what you’d think or state, and I also cannot, and I also need finish this blog post quickly to improve the procedure of myself finding out how you feel about these tales. Yup, for the first time from the time beginning Autostraddle, i have got not a clue what to state about a thing. So perhaps i ought to just want to know — what is actually your a reaction to these pieces?